Being Single in the Church

Last week, I had to give a presentation in my SFL 100 class (it's on The Family: A Proclamation to the World though it's official title is "Strengthening Marriage and Family." It's probably the best class I've ever taken.) Anyway, it was one being single in the church. Interestingly, the church considers you a single adult if you are
over the age of 18, and if you have never been married, are divorced, or if you are widowed. So that's a pretty large group first of all.
So aside from that definition, what does it mean to be single? When your single, you don't have that one person whom you can rely on. You have to turn to your family or friends when pressing issues emerge or emotions of any sort swell within you. Which is not a bad thing, but sometimes it's good to just have someone there that will listen to all of your problems/frustrations/good news/whatevers. Anyway, I'm starting to stray from what I intended for this post.
For my part of the presentation I was supposed to focus on divorce and how to cope with that. However, being who I am, I read the wrong part (at first) and instead got all prepared to talk about being single in the Church. So I'll just talk about both here! (Since I didn't get to talk about being single in the Church for the presentation).

President Gordon B. Hinckley made a wonderful point about being single. He said,

Let us face the fact that in this life some of you will marry, some of you may not…For those who do not marry, this fact of life must be faced squarely. But continuous single status is not without opportunity, challenge, or generous recompense.



I shutter at the thought of never getting married. That would be absolutely terrifying for me, just because of how much I value family and children and marriage. However, if our whole life depended on whether or not we got married - well that would just be ridiculous! I know of many wonderful, deserving people that have yet to be married, and may not get married in this life. I think life is a journey, and marriage is a step along the way. It certainly has a different path and changes your journey, but that doesn't mean that you won't reach your final destination if you never have the opportunity to get married in this life. President Hinckley also stated,

To you single [members] . . . who wish to be married, I say this, ‘Do not give up hope. And do not give up trying. But do give up being obsessed with it. The chances are that if you forget about it and become anxiously engaged in other activities, the prospect will brighten immeasurably.

I love that he's emphasizes what we can to do to attain happiness as a single adult. I love his bluntness - "But do give up being obsessed with it." What great advice is that? Become anxiously engaged in other activities. Give your heart to the Lord, let service fill your life.

Something the author of the essay I read pointed out that “Being single is not an excuse to limit . . . development in gospel knowledge, obedience to commandments, or efforts to do good works.” Nothing should limit our development of gospel knowledge, our obedience to the commandments, or our efforts to do good works. Not even being single. I know that the prophets recognize the pain that comes from being single. At this point in my life, I know I'm very inexperienced to be writing about this kind of stuff, but I firmly believe that turning to the Lord in times of need is the absolute best thing you can do. It may not make you forget that you're not married, but at least you can realize you're not alone.

As I said earlier, I actually presented on Moving Forward after Divorce, and I didn't include a whole lot from the book (because it was just a personal essay). But something I did show the class was this wonderful video on hope. I love how President Utchdorf speaks on the Infinite Power of Hope, and I'll just include the video. I hope all six of you that read this enjoyed it :)

Charity, Forgiveness, and Loving Others

Elder Marvin J. Ashton once said,

Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply five each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resiting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.

How often do we find ourselves judging others without knowing them or their circumstance? I know that I myself have done it on many occasions, often without even realizing it. Charity is not expecting others around us to fit our needs, rather it is about accepting each person as they are and being willing to forgive. Being charitable is no easy task, especially when it is SO easy to be judgmental and unforgiving sometimes. Life is more than being right in an argument, it's more than living the ideal life, it's more than me and you. Charity is more than merely helping others. Charity is helping others reach their true potential; it's helping others realize they are sons and daughters of a divine Heavenly Father; it's being willing to forgive even when what they've done has really hurt us.
I recently read a story about a woman who had suffered in a bad relationship. She had thought that she had married the wrong man. He had no interest in the Church and had treated her very unkindly for several years. When she prayed to ask the Lord if He would approve of a divorce, she had a unique experience. Instead of being told that she ought to follow through with a divorce, she was counseled by the Spirit to recognize her own imperfections, instead of focusing solely on her husbands'. After that experience, she strove to become more compassionate, loving, and understanding. As she changed, so did her husband, and within a few years, their problems had been resolved, and they were able to be sealed in the temple.
In this story, instead of focusing on her husband's problems, she turned to fix her own. By doing so, she was not only able to reconnect with her husband and save her marriage, she was also able to grow spiritually and help him do the same.

Having charity means that we must be able to forgive. Without forgiveness, charity could not exist. The worst thing we can do for ourselves and our relationships with others is not forgiving them. The Savior told us in Matthew 5:7 that faultfinding in others does not work. This is not to say that this is the easiest thing in the world to do. In fact, quite the contrary. It can be really hard sometimes to say "I am truly sorry." Especially when the offense has hit so close to home and cuts deep.

No one is perfect, but we all ought to strive towards perfection. We can all do this through charity, forgiveness, and a genuine love and concern for others.

My 5K's

Today I successfully completed my second 5K. For those of you who don't know, that's 3.1 miles. The first 5K I did was on September 12th. It was to support Abuse Prevent. Instead of numbers, we had quotes. Each person had a different quote relating to abuse, rape, victims, pornography, opposition, acceptance, and love. Mine was "An ideal culture is where every human is valued for their gifts." - Margaret Mead. It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I didn't set a very good pace, and I had to stop and walk a few times. My time? 29:34. These past few weeks, I've been training (for a triathlon, but I mean, I still run 3x's a week), and I made a goal to beat my previous time.
Today was the second 5K run. It was a fundraiser called "Warm the Soles 5K". They raise money to purchase shoes for children who come from poor families. Not only did I accomplish my goal of beating my previous time, I also set a pace so that I could run the entire time. My time was 27:54. I guess that was good enough to get me 7th overall and 3rd in my division (Women 16-22). I have to admit, I was a little disappointed with my time ONLY because I wasn't dead after the race. Which means that I could have tried harder. Good thing I have another 5K coming up in two weeks :)

For those of you who don't know me, I have to say, I have never considered myself very athletic. I didn't participate in any sports in High School, but having done these runs and training almost every day makes me wish I had. Accomplishing something like this just makes you feel so good. Not only was I able to run this 5K without stopping and beat my previous goal, I also was able to support a noteworthy cause. I would recommend that everyone run a 5K. It's not a long run. It's very doable. AND it's super easy to train for. Just run 3 times a week, steadily increasing how far and how long you run, and you can do it in a matter of weeks. On top of that, running just feels so good. Especially when you're done. You can say, "Wow, I just ran that!" It's a great feeling.
Right now, I'm training to do a super sprint triathlon next week (200 yd swim, 6.2 mile bike, 1.8 mile run), another 5K on October 24th, and a sprint triathlon in the spring (400 yd swim, 10 mile bike, 5K run (3.1 miles)). I'm working on making myself better overall :)