Saturday, January 30, 2010

Why I suck at saying "no"

First of all, yes, it is indeed 3am Utah time. And I am tired, I just can't sleep. Weird, huh?

Anyways, I used to be really, really prideful and I hated feeling like a fool. I mean, who doesn't right? But over the years, I've learned that it is less important to worry about how you look to other people. I mean, don't get me wrong, I certainly don't like feeling stupid or foolish, but I would rather that than something else. Well, a particular thing actually. I have this thing about me, where I like to make other people happy. Even though sometimes in the process of doing that, I'm not always happy. But nonetheless, the happiness of others is something that I highly value. This is why I often have such a hard time saying no, but that is beside the point. Anyway! I would rather allow someone else to make me feel foolish than make them unhappy. Please don't misinterpret this to think I'm a better person than I actually am. I just feel happy when those around me are happy. If they are unhappy, especially if it was something I did, I always feel terrible. Even if it was something little. It's important to me. In an effort to make those around me happy, I will almost always do what they want me to, even if I don't want to. I don't mean that I'd lower my standards, but I would definitely do things I didn't want to.

Does that make me a sell out?

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