Worth vs. Worthiness

This semester I am taking SFL 100, which is "Strengthening Home and Family" and the main focus in the class is "The Family: A Proclamation to the World." Can I just say that I absolutely love this class? I love the teacher, I love the Spirit, and I love the readings. One thing we read for last class was our worth verses our worthiness. As beloved children of our Heavenly Father, we each have a divine nature. It has taken a long time to figure out what this actually meant to me, but I think I have an idea. In the Young Women Program, we would repeat a declaration stating that "we are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us." Our divine nature is that we are loved completely by our Father in Heaven, and being children of God, we have an inherent godliness within us. Along with having this divine nature, we also have an absolute worth. This means that no matter what we do, no matter how badly we screw up, whatever we do, we are still worth 100% to the Lord. He still loves us completely. There is absolutely nothing we can do to change our worth in the Lord's eyes.

Sadly, our worthiness and our self-esteem and the way others view us can change. Just because our worth doesn't change doesn't mean our worthiness doesn't. When we disobey, we lose the worthiness we would have otherwise had to receive blessings and participate in sacred activities, such as attend the temple. When our worthiness changes for the worse, often our self-esteem plummets with it as well. Many people tend to think that because they were disobedient, they aren't worth much. Or, if others think that we are worthless, we soon adopt this attitude ourselves. I know that I have most certainly felt worthless because of mistakes I've made, people that have put me down, and even from negative criticism of myself.

Until I read this, I didn't really understand the difference. I didn't realize that no matter what I do my worth can never change. For that knowledge, I am completely indebted to my teacher, this class, and the Lord. I wish there was some way that I could share this revelation with everyone in the world and help them to understand how amazing it is! I wish I could shout it from this hilltops because it truly is such a blessing to know. Just because I've messed up, doesn't mean that I am failure at life. Just because I've hurt people doesn't mean that I can never be loved again. I know that if I put my faith and trust in the Lord that I be worthy of the blessings that the Lord has to offer me.

Counting Your Blessings

A few weeks ago, I gave a talk in church about gratitude. These past few months, I've decided to really count my blessings. In my talk, I recounted a really awful weekend. At the end of that weekend, so much had gone wrong, and instead of being optimistic, I was really mad. I was upset at the guy I thought was my best friend, I was mad at my mom for making me drive my little brother down to EFY, which was 8 hours away, I was angry that there was so much in my life that was out of my control. As I started to look for things to be grateful for, I went back to that weekend, and started with every single thing I could think of that I could say "Thank you" for. Little things like getting there and back perfectly safe, not forgetting anything that wasn't replaceable, slightly bigger things like getting a pair of awesome glasses, and getting a little extra time to spend with my little brother, and really awesome things like spending time with friends I hadn't seen in a long time. After realizing my mistake, I apologized to my mom for how I had treated her. I didn't realize how awful I had been until after the fact. And isn't how that always is? I mean, I know that something I need to work on is being grateful for my trials WHILE I'm facing them. I know that if I can do this, not only will I come out of them a better person, but they will be that much easier to deal with and seem to go by much faster.
This season of Thanksgiving has actually not felt like Thanksgiving. It felt like a really short break from school. I guess it was hard for me because it was the first Thanksgiving that I had where I wasn't with my family the whole time. But I just want to take a few moments to share what I am thankful for. I hope that you all will forgive me for this list which, although it may be somewhat long, it will be nowhere near everything that I am actually thankful for just because there is so, so much. Here goes.

I'm so incredibly thankful for my mom, my dad, my three brothers, and my sister-in-law. I don't know where I would be without them. They all have done so, so much for me.
I'm thankful that my dad has let me stay at his house for the past few months, free of charge. I'm actually incredibly thankful for my dad. He has always been there for me. Whether it was for help studying for a test or just being there to listen, he has always been a great role model for me.
I'm thankful that my brother and his wife are letting me stay with them while I'm transitioning to a new place.
I'm thankful that I've always had a place to stay. Even though it hasn't always been the most convenient for those I have stayed with, I was always welcome with open arms.
I'm thankful for all of my friends. I can't believe that people actually want to be friends with me, but I don't know where I'd be in my life without them. Most of them don't know how much they've helped me out.
I'm so thankful for Kara, my best friend since 4th grade. I know that she's always there for me and that I can talk to her about anything. I'm so glad that I have a sister like her.
I'd go through and name all of the friends I'm thankful for, but there are so many, and I'm afraid I'd leave someone out. But please know that each of you has a very special place in my heart. My friends mean a lot to me because I know how lucky I am to have them.
I'm thankful that I get to attend such a wonderful university. I know how unbelievably lucky I am that I get to attend BYU.
For that matter, I'm so grateful for the opportunity to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'm so grateful for the testimony I have of the Church and the amazing friends I've met as a result of being a member. I'm grateful for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I know that without him, I would have no chance to return to my Father in Heaven, and for that I am forever indebted to him.
I'm so grateful for the Atonement and for my loving Savior. I grateful that I have a knowledge of what Christ did for me and that I have the opportunity to repent and be forgiven.
I'm thankful that I was born in this time period. I know that I was saved for this time for a special reason, and I'm so grateful that I am blessed with that knowledge.
I'm grateful that I get to live in this wonderful, free nation. I know that there are so many people in this world that live in oppression, and I know that I am extremely blessed to live in a country where freedom is a right we have.
I'm grateful for music. I'm so thankful that the Lord gave us the ability to produce something that can bring so much happiness, that can easily bring the spirit, that can lift my spirits when I'm having a bad day, and can make me smile even when I don't feel like it.
I'm thankful for the ward I've been placed in. This may seem a little insignificant, but I really feel like a part of a family there, and I love that everyone in it is so incredibly nice and outgoing. It was something I really needed. After living so long feeling like I didn't have a home anywhere, I feel at home in my ward, and that's a great feeling.
I'm grateful for my ability to make friends. I don't know how I would get along without that gift from God. In fact, I have no idea how I am able to do that, but some how the Lord knew that I needed that now more than ever.
I'm so thankful that I am loved.
I'm so so grateful for the scriptures and the amazing testimony of Christ and Heavenly Father that is in them.
I'm grateful for my ability to cry. I know that without all the sad and incredibly hard times, I wouldn't understand how wonderful it is to be happy and to laugh.
I'm try to be thankful for everything in my life. Even the little things like my aunt calling me and inviting me to Thanksgiving dinner with my family or my friends who will talk with me even when it's incredibly late. I know that I have so many blessings that my cup literally runneth over.

In short, I'd just like to mention how many I blessings I have. This list is a mere scratch upon the surface of all of the things I am grateful for and all of the blessings I have been given. In my talk, I mentioned how much the Lord does for us. I mean, think about it for just a moment. If the Lord can do all that for us, then can't we give a few moments of our day thanking him?