Ten (err, 11) Wedding Do's

I never thought planning a wedding was going to be so difficult! Props to all those who have already done it :) In the few months I've been planning this wedding, I've learned a lot from the many blogs I've read, sites I've looked over, and research I've done. Here's a list of ten things that will inevitably make your wedding less expensive and more enjoyable.

1. Start as soon as you can. Whether you've got two months to plan or two years, don't wait to start planning. I've had about four months to plan my wedding. In Utah (where I've been planning my wedding), I've learned that generally people plan 4 to 6 months out, but sometimes it can be longer. When I reserved my temple date the day after we got engaged, the other large temple room was already taken. And the place we wanted our reception to be was reserved 15 minutes before we got there. Unfortunately, there was nothing we could do about that one. We put off going there for several days because we thought we had time.

2. Do your homework. Really. This may seem to conflict with the last bit of advice, but before you book, you really should know what you're getting yourself into. When it came time to go to the florist consultation, I looked online to see approximate pricing of different flowers, I googled different kinds of wedding flowers, and I met with two florists.

3. Create your budget and they stay under it. My mom and his mom gave us a certain budget. Now there are some things you have less control over, like room fees or minimum spending amounts from certain vendors (though you can control who you choose to be your vendor), but there are always little things you have to pay for that you aren't thinking about when you're planning out your budget--like postage stamps, manicures, and dress alterations. Besides, the less you spend on your wedding, the more you will have after the big day.

4. Skimp and splurge carefully. Before I started planning my wedding, I knew that there were two things at the top of my priority list--the photographer and my dress. (P.S. My photographer is amazing! Check out her stuff at camillabinks.com). Even though I was willing to pay a little more for my dress, I didn't immediately run to the most expensive places. We went to a rental shop (which I would highly recommend, they really take care of you it seems) and a discount shop. Only when I didn't find anything there did we look at the regular bridal gown shops. I think there is no problem splurging on a few things. Get what is important to you (though more than anything else, I'd recommend splurging on a really good photographer, but that's another post altogether). Because I had spent a lot on those things, I designed my own invitations and printed them at as low a cost as possible; I cut down a lot on flowers and bought fake branches for my centerpieces (at half off!); we shot our photographs at places that didn't require fees. Little things like that can add up quickly if you're not careful.

5. Enter contests to win free stuff. Okay, this one probably sounds a little weird, but seriously do it. If you see a contest (they're often at bridal fairs, on Facebook pages, wedding websites, etc), enter it. The worst that can happen is that you don't win, no harm done. I entered several contests and ended up winning a free cake (which has been a huge blessing) and a free bridal photo shoot (really awesome, I'm so excited for that).

6. Don't be afraid to go the used, fake, or eBay route. You may ick at the thought of used anything, but you can find a lot of really great deals on some of the little things. We bought part of our centerpieces at Deseret Industries (kind of like Rescue Mission stores). Fake may also be the way to go. We got fake centerpieces that cost $10 less than their live counterparts, and with 12 tables, that a savings of $120. Doesn't seem like much, but those little things add up fast. I also bought my petticoat on eBay for $25 dollars (including shipping), which was $40 less than the cheapest one at the bridal store.

7. Find a good checklist. It can be really overwhelming to plan a wedding, and it's really helpful to have a checklist, especially one tailored to your needs. For LDS weddings, I've found BYU's bridal guide extremely helpful, at least with the basic LDS wedding checklist (bridalguide.byu.edu). Wedding websites (like theknot.com) also have really good and detailed checklists.

8. Research, research, research! Research your vendors; check out reviews from past clients as well as pricing information. Research ideas in the style you like; look at poses, props, DIY ideas, etc. Research deals; sometimes you get lucky with your first shot, but more often, you can find better deals by looking a little harder.

9. Get help!! Okay, this one is one of the most important. You will go crazy if you have to do everything yourself. Whether in the form of a wedding planner or a close family member (like your mom) or friend, find someone who will help you accomplish what you want to accomplish. I would not have been able to put together nearly as much of our wedding if it weren't for his mom. I'm from New York, but live in Utah. My mom is still in NY and has done a few things, but there are a lot of DIY things that she wouldn't be able to do. His mom has been so, so helpful in helping me realize many of my wedding ideas. Also, it's good to have someone there when you start to go overboard or obsessing. They'll point out that you don't really need all those things you think you do. I don't think our wedding would be half as amazing without all her help and support.

10. Make sure to include your fiance. I was surprised at how much he cared about things in our wedding! But I tried to let him be a part of the decision-making as best I could. For example, when it came to his wedding day outfit, we went to a tux shop and a suit store. I told him that I liked the tux and two of the suits he tried on, so he could choose which one he wanted. I also picked out three ties I liked and let him choose. Little things like that can really make him feel like he's a part of the big day too. Invite him to meet with the baker (if only to taste the cake flavors) or let him choose his own outfit. He decided that he thought it would be fun to wear colored Converse, and I was totally open to that idea.

11. Okay, okay. Just one more. Make it you! This is your wedding day. You don't have to get caught up in the current trends. If you want your first dance to be the polka, go for it! (okay, that's a bit of a cheat. Our first dance is going to be the polka). If you love cowboy boots and country songs, make that part of your wedding! If you hate pink, don't use it even though it's the color of the year. Just be you. It's your day after all. :)

All in all, planning a wedding is not easy nor cheap, but it is possible. And if in the end, something doesn't turn out quite right, don't fret. (I know it might be hard, but remember not to get caught up in all the little details, especially when it's at a point where you can't do anything about it).

Gratitude

These past few days have been very, um, how shall I say it. Interesting? Trying? A little bit hard, but not excessively because I've been on top of my homework. But alas, I really do not have an excuse for not keeping up on my grateful blog. :)

I'm grateful for the wonderful weather today, and I'm grateful that it's not too hot or too cold to wear my cute new sweater ;)

I'm so grateful for my mom. She's such a wonderful woman. I appreciate her financial support, but more than that, I'm glad that we've been able to become closer. She's such a strong woman and has gone through a lot and I just appreciate her.

I'm grateful that Jordan's parents invite me over to their house for dinner. It's nice going there and being around there family (even though Jordan isn't there *tear*).

And along with that, I'm grateful for Tay and his awesome guitar playing skills and his willingness to play for me!! :)

I'm grateful for being able to read. Seriously, I love love love it so much. It's so nice to have insights brought on by others. And reading the scriptures really brings inspiration in the times I need it most.

Loves! Hope you're all having a wonderful holiday season :D

The Scariest Thing I've Ever Done

I would say that I've done my share of pretty frightening things in my life.

This includes
-learning how to paraglide (every time the instructor said, "are you ready?" I'd affirm that I was, but in my mind I'd say, "No way!")
-climbing on a mountain where the last quarter mile was basically cliff
-river rafting
-cliff jumping.
Heck, these are all the things I've done in the past month.

I've walked on fresh, hot coals (seriously)
-bent rebar with my neck
-literally been attacked by some guy I didn't know
-fought in District, Regionals, and Nationals in Karate...twice.

I've walked on high ropes
-jumped over waterfalls
-rappelled down cliffs
-allowed some stranger to adjust my neck in the JFK Airport in NYC.
-gotten hit by a car whilst riding my bike

I have put my trust in complete strangers
-gone over 115 mph (shh, just don't tell the cops)
-gotten in a car accident (or two....)
-driven across the United States...by myself
-performed in two solo recitals
-just done some just pretty stupid/scary things

I left for college by myself
-with no friends to come with me
-moved again, and again, and again...

I've had to re-invent myself since high school (in a sense at least)
I've had to find new friends
I've had to cope with losing friends and loves
I've dealt with my family falling apart
I've fallen in love and back out again

But the scariest thing I've done is probably what I'm currently going through right now. I really didn't intend for this to happen. At all. You would have thought that I might have learned from lesson from past experience, but I obviously haven't. The scariest thing I've even done is fallen in 'love' with someone that doesn't quite love me back. I say 'love' because maybe I'm not in love, but it certainly feels that way sometimes. Let me tell you: it is so so so scary. Maybe I should just be patient...right? I considered making this a private post, but no one reads my blog anyway, so I'm not too worried. And I haven't told him either. We'll just wait and see.

Being Single in the Church

Last week, I had to give a presentation in my SFL 100 class (it's on The Family: A Proclamation to the World though it's official title is "Strengthening Marriage and Family." It's probably the best class I've ever taken.) Anyway, it was one being single in the church. Interestingly, the church considers you a single adult if you are
over the age of 18, and if you have never been married, are divorced, or if you are widowed. So that's a pretty large group first of all.
So aside from that definition, what does it mean to be single? When your single, you don't have that one person whom you can rely on. You have to turn to your family or friends when pressing issues emerge or emotions of any sort swell within you. Which is not a bad thing, but sometimes it's good to just have someone there that will listen to all of your problems/frustrations/good news/whatevers. Anyway, I'm starting to stray from what I intended for this post.
For my part of the presentation I was supposed to focus on divorce and how to cope with that. However, being who I am, I read the wrong part (at first) and instead got all prepared to talk about being single in the Church. So I'll just talk about both here! (Since I didn't get to talk about being single in the Church for the presentation).

President Gordon B. Hinckley made a wonderful point about being single. He said,

Let us face the fact that in this life some of you will marry, some of you may not…For those who do not marry, this fact of life must be faced squarely. But continuous single status is not without opportunity, challenge, or generous recompense.



I shutter at the thought of never getting married. That would be absolutely terrifying for me, just because of how much I value family and children and marriage. However, if our whole life depended on whether or not we got married - well that would just be ridiculous! I know of many wonderful, deserving people that have yet to be married, and may not get married in this life. I think life is a journey, and marriage is a step along the way. It certainly has a different path and changes your journey, but that doesn't mean that you won't reach your final destination if you never have the opportunity to get married in this life. President Hinckley also stated,

To you single [members] . . . who wish to be married, I say this, ‘Do not give up hope. And do not give up trying. But do give up being obsessed with it. The chances are that if you forget about it and become anxiously engaged in other activities, the prospect will brighten immeasurably.

I love that he's emphasizes what we can to do to attain happiness as a single adult. I love his bluntness - "But do give up being obsessed with it." What great advice is that? Become anxiously engaged in other activities. Give your heart to the Lord, let service fill your life.

Something the author of the essay I read pointed out that “Being single is not an excuse to limit . . . development in gospel knowledge, obedience to commandments, or efforts to do good works.” Nothing should limit our development of gospel knowledge, our obedience to the commandments, or our efforts to do good works. Not even being single. I know that the prophets recognize the pain that comes from being single. At this point in my life, I know I'm very inexperienced to be writing about this kind of stuff, but I firmly believe that turning to the Lord in times of need is the absolute best thing you can do. It may not make you forget that you're not married, but at least you can realize you're not alone.

As I said earlier, I actually presented on Moving Forward after Divorce, and I didn't include a whole lot from the book (because it was just a personal essay). But something I did show the class was this wonderful video on hope. I love how President Utchdorf speaks on the Infinite Power of Hope, and I'll just include the video. I hope all six of you that read this enjoyed it :)

The Infinite Power of Hope

I often visit the LDS Church website, and watching their video clips from General Authority Talks is one of my favorite things to do. Although this one is not all that recent, it is one of my favorites. I absolutely love President Utchdorf. He has a great spirit that just emanates from him. This talk is from the October 2008 General Conference. This video is a mere clip of the whole talk. I love how he emphasizes what hope can do for us. It can bring up happiness and sustain us through despair. He states that through hope, we can come to the knowledge that our prayers are heard and answered. But one of my favorite quotes from this excerpt is when he says, "Hope teaches that there is reason to rejoice even when all seems dark around us.... Never allow despair to overcome your spirit." Sometimes it is so hard to keep your head up and remember that tomorrow is not far off. Sometimes it is really difficult to not feel alone, but because of the Atonement of Christ, we can always turn to Him if we have hope.

Here's the link to the video:

Infinite-Power-of-Hope

And here's the link to the actual talk:

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=bbd44bb52a73d110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

If anyone out there is reading this, I hope that by watching this you can maybe feel the Spirit and inspiration I felt while watching it. Hope truly has the power to change and testify if we allow it to.

Broken: On Relationships

Although I have several topics that I plan on blogging about, I would just like to take a moment to address this issue. Dating is fun. Generally, it is not all that hard. Especially not for me. I don't say that because I think I'm 'so good' at getting dates. I just have an easier time befriending guys. Consequently, I get asked out on lots of dates. Certainly enough to keep me busy. I think this is mostly because not only am I comfortable around guys (more so than I am around girls), I have no concrete interests, so I'm interested in just about anything. That leaves a lot of room for diversity. And trust me, there is diversity. But as I said before, dating is pretty easy. There is almost no commitment there. You go on a date, get to know each other, and at the end, you go home and that's it. Relationships on the other hand are terrifying. How are you supposed to put all of your trust in someone? Especially someone that you might possibly love. Someone that could potentially cause you deep sorrow and pain. When you go on dates with people, how much do you tell them that involves their trust? Not much. But when you're in a relationship, how long can you make it without trust? Not long.

Now don't get me wrong, I would love to be in a relationship with someone. I want to have that feeling of absolute trust with someone that I love. But right now, I don't know if that is something I can do. I'm still a little broken from a past relationship. Sadly, that brokenness is affecting my ability to be in relationships now.

Today I talked with a guy that I had dated for a couple of months and then broken up with. Surprisingly, talking to him was very comfortable. Just like it was when we were dating. It made me question my decision in our breaking up. Before he left, we talked about why it was hard for him to be friends with me. He said that since we weren't really close friends while we were dating, that it was hard for him to feel close to me now. And that is completely fair for him to say because, truthfully, I didn't tell him a whole lot that was going on with me because I was afraid to trust him. I think this may be something I've always had a hard time with. Being in a relationship leads to broken hearts, painful memories, and hurt feelings. If you have a bad date, then you just don't go on another with that person, and the bad date is soon forgotten or no longer as bad as it was at that moment. I know that for me, it will be hard to be in another relationship, and despite all the bad things in could lead to, there are many wonderful things a relationship can provide. Among them is having someone that you can trust, someone you can love that loves you back. Someone that will just make you feel happy.

Broken things can be fixed....right?

Live and Learn, The Creation, & Uncle Kirt

Okay, so as I was trying to sign into my blog, I had put in my email and what I thought was the password, but I was then directed to a page informing me that I had not entered the correct password and that I needed to try again. I put in several different passwords, but to no avail. I then sent an email to myself to remind me of my password. I waited and waited, but nothing came. Confused, I returned to the sign in page and tried again. Nothing still. At this point I was extremely confused. So then, I tried a different email, and alas! That was the correct email! Whodathunk! Not me obviously because it took me about 20 minutes to figure this all out. Live and Learn I guess.

I had wanted to share this today, but I couldn't find the right opportunity, so I'll share it here before I forget. A little over a year ago, my Uncle Kirt passed away from a heart attack. He was not old. In fact, he had just gotten remarried. What made it even worse is that his wife literally watched him die. It was not over time, he did not deteriorate. It was extremely sudden and without warning. I remember the day I got the call from my dad telling me that his brother had died. I was standing in the kitchen of my dorm my freshman year of college. I didn't believe him at first, but I also knew my dad wouldn't make a joke about something like that. When I went to the funeral, my Grandma gave a talk about the Creation. At first, I was really confused as to why she would talk about something that seemed so irrelevant. However, as she continued with her talk, and as I saw today, I learned that it was not irrelevant at all. Before coming to this life, our Heavenly Father presented a plan to us. This plan involved coming to Earth, living as mortal beings, and then hopefully returning to our Heavenly Father. My grandma then talked about the wonderful creation of the earth, the solar system, and the universe. She talked about how infinite the universe is and of how great God's creations are. She then continued by explaining that God not only created this vast thing, but also created each little thing, like the fish and the plants and the insects of the earth. He paid attention to every last detail. He finished with his greatest creation. Man. God made man in His image, and his plan was that we would all someday become gods like unto himself.

You know what, I kind of lost my train of thought on this. I started this blog a few hours ago, but this is the gist of what I want to say. The Lord created man in his image. To me, this means that He WANTS us to be like him in every way. Even in the way we look. He wants us to live up to our fullest potential. He wants us to become gods in the next life. My uncle was not perfect. No one is. But he was a good person. He may not have lived up to his fullest potential in this life, but I know he will in the next. Sorry, this wasn't as good a post as I would've liked, but I just all of a sudden got really distracted

This is what I love (copied from my FB post)

I wish there was something that I was super passionate about. Because that is what I LOVE. I love when people are passionate about something, and they are willing to share their passion with me. Even when it's something that I am not particularly interested in, if someone else loves it, I want to hear about it. It makes me so excited for them and what they are capable of accomplishing with their passions. I wish I could express in words just how excited I am feeling right now just thinking about friends that I have that are passionate about something. Everything from dancing to photography, music to science, and even accounting!

I also love that I have so many wonderful friends. I don't know what I would do in my life without them. Whether they realize it or not, each of them is incredibly important to me in some way or another. If I'm having a bad day, there is always someone that I can turn to, and often they don't even know that they are cheering me up. I don't think I've ever felt more accepted and welcome in my life. My friends pretty much define who I am. Without them, I would be lost. So, thanks you guys for being a part of my life.

Call me cheesy or lame or whatever you will, but I LOVE anything that makes me happy. Most especially kids movies and EFY music. I don't care if those aren't the most popular things ever, I absolutely LOVE them. I love just singing my lungs out and dancing while listening to crazy music in my car. I love messing around with my friends. I love running my frustrations out. I love just being happy. It's just an incredible feeling. I love being Mormon, and I love being in Utah and meeting so many other Mormons.

I find it so incredible that I live such a blessed life. Sometimes, I can't even imagine how much different my life would be if I were someone else. And you know what? I wouldn't trade a thing to be someone else. I like who I am. Not to say that I'm perfect or even close by any stretch of the imagination, but I know my trials are made for me, and heck yeah they're hard sometimes, but I know I can always make it through. I love being a member of this Church. I love the Prophet and the Apostles.

I love my family. I love that feeling of being where you belong. I love home. Where ever it may be. And sometimes, it can be found in the most unusual places. There are so many places where I have felt at home, and I know I have my family and my friends to thank for that. I am so excited for when I finally get to have my own family. I'm so excited to watch my children grow up and learn things for themselves. I can't wait to be in love with someone for all eternity. I'm so excited to make new memories with a new family.

Finally, I love helping other people feel happy and welcome. For those of you who haven't know me very long, you probably don't know that I get INCREDIBLY nervous meeting new people. Heck, sometimes I get nervous with people I've already met. However, I know that I'm much happier when others are welcoming and kind to me, so I strive to do the same. Even when I'm the new person.

One final thing I just want to mention. In this time, people have become very hesitant to speak strongly about their feelings or passions or whatever because they are afraid to step on someones toes, hurt someones feelings, or don't want to be made fun of for their passion. That's kind of how I am. So this is me, sharing some of my feelings, beliefs, and passions, if you will. For those of you who have made it this far, thanks for reading. I don't know interesting this was, but now you have a little more insight into my mind :)

Worth vs. Worthiness

This semester I am taking SFL 100, which is "Strengthening Home and Family" and the main focus in the class is "The Family: A Proclamation to the World." Can I just say that I absolutely love this class? I love the teacher, I love the Spirit, and I love the readings. One thing we read for last class was our worth verses our worthiness. As beloved children of our Heavenly Father, we each have a divine nature. It has taken a long time to figure out what this actually meant to me, but I think I have an idea. In the Young Women Program, we would repeat a declaration stating that "we are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us." Our divine nature is that we are loved completely by our Father in Heaven, and being children of God, we have an inherent godliness within us. Along with having this divine nature, we also have an absolute worth. This means that no matter what we do, no matter how badly we screw up, whatever we do, we are still worth 100% to the Lord. He still loves us completely. There is absolutely nothing we can do to change our worth in the Lord's eyes.

Sadly, our worthiness and our self-esteem and the way others view us can change. Just because our worth doesn't change doesn't mean our worthiness doesn't. When we disobey, we lose the worthiness we would have otherwise had to receive blessings and participate in sacred activities, such as attend the temple. When our worthiness changes for the worse, often our self-esteem plummets with it as well. Many people tend to think that because they were disobedient, they aren't worth much. Or, if others think that we are worthless, we soon adopt this attitude ourselves. I know that I have most certainly felt worthless because of mistakes I've made, people that have put me down, and even from negative criticism of myself.

Until I read this, I didn't really understand the difference. I didn't realize that no matter what I do my worth can never change. For that knowledge, I am completely indebted to my teacher, this class, and the Lord. I wish there was some way that I could share this revelation with everyone in the world and help them to understand how amazing it is! I wish I could shout it from this hilltops because it truly is such a blessing to know. Just because I've messed up, doesn't mean that I am failure at life. Just because I've hurt people doesn't mean that I can never be loved again. I know that if I put my faith and trust in the Lord that I be worthy of the blessings that the Lord has to offer me.