Don't Care, Don't Care, Don't Care.....

Right now, I'd like to just vent. Here are my frustrations:

I just spent several hours yesterday writing a paper for a class. Fortunately, it was only a rough draft, but after having the teacher review it, he pretty much said that I had done it all wrong. So now I have to re-write the paper pretty much, change the way I wrote it, and have it all done by Wednesday.

That wouldn't be a problem except...

-I have another five page paper due on Thursday. At least I've started it, but who knows, maybe I've done that wrong too.

-I have to take a test before Friday

-I have a short paper to do that shouldn't take long to write, but I still have to do kind of a lot of research for it.

-I still have to do homework reading assignments for my classes

I hate hate hate hate school right now. This is so frustrating. I have no idea what I'm going to do, which makes me not want to do anything, which is just going to make everything worse.

I think I'm going to go cry right now.

Boyfriend = Best Friend?

K, so there's this thing about me.

I'm am really good at making new friends.

Especially with boys.

I'm not quite sure why I'm 1000 times more comfortable around boys than I am around girls, but the fact of the matter is, I just am. But my relationship with boys generally doesn't extend past that initial friendship. Sometimes I might become better friends with some guys than others, but a lot of times, even those friendships tend to fade away.

But that's beside the point.

Yeah, I am good at making friends....

BUT I'm super horrible at making best friends. Even with my boyfriend.

It's kind of frustrating. Here's why:
-I want to be best friends with him!

But here's why I'm probably not:
-Being best friends with someone requires your consistent attention (not necessarily constant though)
-You have to let them in
-Even scarier, you have to let them let you in.

This means that you actually have to tell them things. About yourself! About your life; about your likes and dislikes; about your love; about your most embarrassing momoents, your mistakes, heck even the times when you didn't make mistakes. You should totally be allowed to brag about yourself to your best friend. But that also means knowing them well enough to be comfortable doing that.

And it's hard to know what to do in a relationship where you don't feel that 'best friend' connection because I do think it's important. It's completely fair to want to marry someone that you can put your absolute trust in. Who wants to marry someone that makes fun of them or who makes them feel less than they really are?

Right?


Sometimes I wish life weren't so hard.

DON'T STOP, BAH-LIEVIN'

Just felt like that needed to be sung at the top of my lungs, but since I don't really feel like singing at the top of my lungs, I figured I'd just yell it here ;)


Referrin' to the title of the post for those of you that aren't pickin' up what I'm layin' down :D

The Scariest Thing I've Ever Done

I would say that I've done my share of pretty frightening things in my life.

This includes
-learning how to paraglide (every time the instructor said, "are you ready?" I'd affirm that I was, but in my mind I'd say, "No way!")
-climbing on a mountain where the last quarter mile was basically cliff
-river rafting
-cliff jumping.
Heck, these are all the things I've done in the past month.

I've walked on fresh, hot coals (seriously)
-bent rebar with my neck
-literally been attacked by some guy I didn't know
-fought in District, Regionals, and Nationals in Karate...twice.

I've walked on high ropes
-jumped over waterfalls
-rappelled down cliffs
-allowed some stranger to adjust my neck in the JFK Airport in NYC.
-gotten hit by a car whilst riding my bike

I have put my trust in complete strangers
-gone over 115 mph (shh, just don't tell the cops)
-gotten in a car accident (or two....)
-driven across the United States...by myself
-performed in two solo recitals
-just done some just pretty stupid/scary things

I left for college by myself
-with no friends to come with me
-moved again, and again, and again...

I've had to re-invent myself since high school (in a sense at least)
I've had to find new friends
I've had to cope with losing friends and loves
I've dealt with my family falling apart
I've fallen in love and back out again

But the scariest thing I've done is probably what I'm currently going through right now. I really didn't intend for this to happen. At all. You would have thought that I might have learned from lesson from past experience, but I obviously haven't. The scariest thing I've even done is fallen in 'love' with someone that doesn't quite love me back. I say 'love' because maybe I'm not in love, but it certainly feels that way sometimes. Let me tell you: it is so so so scary. Maybe I should just be patient...right? I considered making this a private post, but no one reads my blog anyway, so I'm not too worried. And I haven't told him either. We'll just wait and see.

*Insert Clever Post Title Here*

yeah, I'm not creative.

So quick update on my life:

-I'm still going to school. I'm trying to figure out my schedule right now, even though classes started yesterday. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to go FallWinterSpringSummer because I'm definitely getting sick of school. Oh well, I'll get done faster right? ...Right?? I better.

-I'm dating a wonderful guy named Jordan Holmes. We've been dating for almost two months. I love love love his family and his friends are super awesome as well. Compared to him, I feel like I don't know anybody though. I'm always introduced instead of me introducing him. It's okay though.

-I went white water rafting on my 3-day break from school. Gosh, what the heck? Three days is not a break, especially when it includes a Sunday.....rafting was super fun though. At least I got to do something, right? And I got to hang out with my lovely bf and meet even more of his friends.


I'm not sure why I started this blog exactly, but I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings on certain things. In fact, I bookmarked this blog and put it on the bar below the URL and took Facebook off. But I still go to Facebook more often than I come here. I've just mastered typing Facebook really fast....Anyway, I don't really know what to write right now. I'm just ranting. Maybe I'll think of something creative later and post. Maybe I'll post on here what Jordan and I are doing to celebrate his birthday and then tease him because he didn't read my blog. ;) (He doesn't know yet). Well, I'll at least give all you millions of readers a hint. It involves a few of the things he enjoys, including 1) learning new things, 2) spending time with me ;), andddd last but not least 3) Flying...well in a sense at least. Maybe it's not as excited as flying a ... whatever kind of jet it is that he is obsessed with, but it'll be a fun experience I'm sure.

Well, I think I've bored you all enough. Like I said, maybe I'll post something later. For now, I should get reading on my Illiad homework reading assingment

Being Single in the Church

Last week, I had to give a presentation in my SFL 100 class (it's on The Family: A Proclamation to the World though it's official title is "Strengthening Marriage and Family." It's probably the best class I've ever taken.) Anyway, it was one being single in the church. Interestingly, the church considers you a single adult if you are
over the age of 18, and if you have never been married, are divorced, or if you are widowed. So that's a pretty large group first of all.
So aside from that definition, what does it mean to be single? When your single, you don't have that one person whom you can rely on. You have to turn to your family or friends when pressing issues emerge or emotions of any sort swell within you. Which is not a bad thing, but sometimes it's good to just have someone there that will listen to all of your problems/frustrations/good news/whatevers. Anyway, I'm starting to stray from what I intended for this post.
For my part of the presentation I was supposed to focus on divorce and how to cope with that. However, being who I am, I read the wrong part (at first) and instead got all prepared to talk about being single in the Church. So I'll just talk about both here! (Since I didn't get to talk about being single in the Church for the presentation).

President Gordon B. Hinckley made a wonderful point about being single. He said,

Let us face the fact that in this life some of you will marry, some of you may not…For those who do not marry, this fact of life must be faced squarely. But continuous single status is not without opportunity, challenge, or generous recompense.



I shutter at the thought of never getting married. That would be absolutely terrifying for me, just because of how much I value family and children and marriage. However, if our whole life depended on whether or not we got married - well that would just be ridiculous! I know of many wonderful, deserving people that have yet to be married, and may not get married in this life. I think life is a journey, and marriage is a step along the way. It certainly has a different path and changes your journey, but that doesn't mean that you won't reach your final destination if you never have the opportunity to get married in this life. President Hinckley also stated,

To you single [members] . . . who wish to be married, I say this, ‘Do not give up hope. And do not give up trying. But do give up being obsessed with it. The chances are that if you forget about it and become anxiously engaged in other activities, the prospect will brighten immeasurably.

I love that he's emphasizes what we can to do to attain happiness as a single adult. I love his bluntness - "But do give up being obsessed with it." What great advice is that? Become anxiously engaged in other activities. Give your heart to the Lord, let service fill your life.

Something the author of the essay I read pointed out that “Being single is not an excuse to limit . . . development in gospel knowledge, obedience to commandments, or efforts to do good works.” Nothing should limit our development of gospel knowledge, our obedience to the commandments, or our efforts to do good works. Not even being single. I know that the prophets recognize the pain that comes from being single. At this point in my life, I know I'm very inexperienced to be writing about this kind of stuff, but I firmly believe that turning to the Lord in times of need is the absolute best thing you can do. It may not make you forget that you're not married, but at least you can realize you're not alone.

As I said earlier, I actually presented on Moving Forward after Divorce, and I didn't include a whole lot from the book (because it was just a personal essay). But something I did show the class was this wonderful video on hope. I love how President Utchdorf speaks on the Infinite Power of Hope, and I'll just include the video. I hope all six of you that read this enjoyed it :)

K, I'm a slacker

Sorry. New post to follow as soon as I finish writing it. It will be today!

Elyse