K, so there's this thing about me.
I'm am really good at making new friends.
Especially with boys.
I'm not quite sure why I'm 1000 times more comfortable around boys than I am around girls, but the fact of the matter is, I just am. But my relationship with boys generally doesn't extend past that initial friendship. Sometimes I might become better friends with some guys than others, but a lot of times, even those friendships tend to fade away.
But that's beside the point.
Yeah, I am good at making friends....
BUT I'm super horrible at making best friends. Even with my boyfriend.
It's kind of frustrating. Here's why:
-I want to be best friends with him!
But here's why I'm probably not:
-Being best friends with someone requires your consistent attention (not necessarily constant though)
-You have to let them in
-Even scarier, you have to let them let you in.
This means that you actually have to tell them things. About yourself! About your life; about your likes and dislikes; about your love; about your most embarrassing momoents, your mistakes, heck even the times when you didn't make mistakes. You should totally be allowed to brag about yourself to your best friend. But that also means knowing them well enough to be comfortable doing that.
And it's hard to know what to do in a relationship where you don't feel that 'best friend' connection because I do think it's important. It's completely fair to want to marry someone that you can put your absolute trust in. Who wants to marry someone that makes fun of them or who makes them feel less than they really are?
Sometimes I wish life weren't so hard.