Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I Miss You Already

The song Mr. Lonely has been on repeat in my head all day. Weird, because I hardly know the sing, but that doesn't stop it from playing again and again.

I have to admit though, missing you is different than it was for other people. It's so weird. I don't quite understand it.

I think I would have been okay if I didn't go to your house. That was a mistake. Only because your mom knew. If I'd known she knew, I would have stayed home. Given you the guitar.

I know, I'm pathetic. Especially since it's only day 3 of 10 days. Gosh, that makes me even more depressed. Wait, did I say 10? I meant 12. Twelve days...that's kind of a long time to go without someone you're used to seeing every day.

Maybe it will get easier when I actually can't see you, when you'll be so far gone that maybe I won't even think about you. "Out of sight, out of mind," right?

Or was it "absence makes the heart grow fonder"??

Now even the things that used to distract me aren't working. I just get nothing done at all. Maybe nothing is too strong a word. I can't be doing nothing. And I wouldn't let myself even if I could.

Ugh, I hate feeling this way. It's depressing. I'm depressing

At least I get to talk to you every day. Even if it is only via letters/journal (that fortunately, I don't even have to publish). Not that I have to publish this. I realize it's solely a matter of choice

But sometimes I like to pretend people actually read my blog.

I wish I were a poet.

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